by Ellen Swallow, MFCC

What kids really need from divorcing parents is for them to get whatever help they need to find their love again and get along in the same family. These days, there are plenty of excellent counselors to help folks do just that, even if they're really angry and hurt by their spouses and not in love any more. Good counseling teaches people to stop doing what got them to the door of divorce in the first place, and to do again what got them to the door of marriage at the outset. Good counseling helps people learn to forgive the part between those two doors that was not so hot, or just plain awful, and work from this day forward to have a win-win marriage.

Make no mistake about it, the facts are in. Divorce is very traumatic for children, because their family as they know it is dying, and the grieving process affects their development for years, and often a lifetime. Divorce leads to anxiety, depression, hostile behavior, lack of interest in academic achievement, withdrawal and a host of other possible symptoms. Do all children of divorcing parents get all these symptoms? Of course not. Do most children of divorcing parents get some of these symptoms? Yes.

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